Friday, December 30, 2016

Life : Married? Checked!


By the time I'm writing this, cukup 3 bulan seorang Shasha Yatim sah jadi isteri Mohd Ikram Zaidi yang aku jumpa time praktikal. Yes tempat praktikal pun boleh jadi tempat cari jodoh tau. Aum. Cuma, time intern dulu, aku takde sibuk pun cari teman hidup sebab macam dah redha. Ada, ada lah. Takde sudah, teruskan hidup. Lagipun berderet Single Checklist iols. Tapi bila tak cari tu, time tu lah Allah hadirkan dia.

Jumpa Bulan Februari 2015

Kenal Bulan Mac 2015

Serius Bulan September 2015

Jumpa Parents Bulan Disember 2015

Datang Risik Bulan Mac 2016

Hantar Rombongan Julai 2016

Nikah Oktober 2016

Nampak mudah? Tak. Tak semudah itu. Kalau sehari tak nangis stress tu maknanya bukan nak kahwin la tu. (Eh kau je yang nangis-nangis kecohh) Honestly husband pun takde simpanan sebab baru je kerja but he manage to save up to certain amount yang tak boleh nak sebut sebab MashaAllah banyak before October 2016 just to marry me. Paling sedih kadang-kadang tanya lunch makan apa? Nasi & Telur, roti or tak makan pun. Alahai. Yang tu memang terpaling terharu. I couldn't say much. I just can't tell how much I adore him and I hope this marriage last till death do us apart. For me, he's perfect. Thank you for everything, Mohd Ikram Bin Zaidi  and top of all, Thank You Allah for sending him  ^_^-

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Life : It's Okay

Assalamualaikum and good day,everyone.

This is me writing. Like finally. Macam tak percaya there is one community, small one, yang menunggu my new entry to be published. Honestly, I got so much, like SO MUCH draft waiting to be finished and exposed to the world and this entry is one of 'em.

Currently, I'm unemployed. By the time I'm writing this, memang aku tak bekerja. I had myself resigned from my previous job for some personal reasons yang memang tak boleh cerita. But the reasons to quit were quite strong. I used to have everything. Semuanya. Kerja, gaji yang mantap, awesome bosses, awesome teammates, awesome time, somebody to love & to be loved by, family support and everything that significant to the word of "stability". Tapi ketahuilah roda sentiasa berputar. I always knew when I were at the top of the wheel long ago, later at some point of my life I will be there; down hitting the ground.

Sesetengah manusia mungkin tak boleh terima and get stress over it. Blank and down. Stress tengok kawan-kawan makin stabil dengan kerjaya masing-masing, ada yang dah finish master dan graduate, achieve something in their life while diri sendiri? Aku akui, pernah satu tahap, aku memang stress and depressed mengenangkan why it has to go this way? 

Kenapa pencapaian aku tak sama dengan orang lain?
Kenapa orang senang dapat kerja yang bagus, yang menjamin, sedangkan aku tak?
Kenapa gaji yang orang tawarkan pada aku tak setinggi kawan-kawan?
Kenapa orang lain dah mampu beli kereta dan rumah aku tak?
Kenapa orang lain dah habis master aku baru nak daftar?
Kenapa hidup aku berjalan tak ikut perancangan?
and the list goes on.

Persoalan yang tiada jawapan.

But then, aku sedar, ini bukan satu hukuman. Ini adalah salah satu ujian & percaturan yang Allah dah tetapkan buat aku. Apa yang Allah nak tengok adalah usaha dan iman.

Sabar ke tak?
Dengki ke tak dengan orang lain?
Prejudis kah aku dengan Allah?
Something goes wrong, bolehkah aku handle?
Putuskah doa, harapan dan kebergantungan pada DIA?
Sejauh mana aku mampu berusaha untuk capai kualiti hidup yang lebih baik?
Dan adakah aku masih boleh bersabar dan terus bersabar?

And juniors, someday later you might encounter the same thing. Know that hidup bekerja tak semudah disangka. Lain manusia, lain situasi. Mungkin kau suka kerja tu tapi gaji tak banyak. Mungkin kau memang tak boleh go dengan kerja yang kau buat tapi terpaksa tahan diri sebab gaji lebat. Ada yang kerja okay tapi bos macam harrrom. Ada yang bos okay tapi kerja macam kuli. Ada yang kerja okay, bos okay tapi colleague pulaukan kau. Ada yang kerja okay, bos okay, gaji okay, kawan okay tapi jauh yang amat. Ada orang tempat kerja walking distance from home, ada yg 10 minit dah sampai, ada yang sejam baru sampai dan ada juga yang bangun seawal 4 pagi untuk sampai office pada pukul 8 pagi. Ada yang taknak kerja tapi kena kerja atas desakan ekonomi dan ada yang nak kerja tapi tak diberi izin. Like I said before, different people face different issues.

I always tell people, aku kerja untuk hidup, bukan hidup untuk kerja. Kalau gaji 4-5 ribu tapi takde masa untuk keluarga, balik kerja pun kena kerja, hujung minggu pun kena kerja walaupun kat rumah, it's okay. Keep that 5k. Itu aku. Kalau korang tak sependapat naa its okay. Pendapat masing-masing.

well yes I do ~ 

Tapi sebab memilih pun aku sekarang still unemployed. Hahaha Damn 3 bulan feels like forever. Companies keep calling for interviews and job offers but none of the position offered sounds okay; I mean, no I'm NOT going to be a Business Development Executive, Sales Executive and doing sales again though I have the personality for it. Period. Every company that I went for interview, they'd say "You'll suit the sales position the best" Well no. None of us will get the benefit from the recruitment. Consulting? Yes. Selling things? No. I don't have the heart for it. I can say it loud and clear because I've tried it before. Hiks!

But its okay. Aku dapat rehat kejap. After degree kan terus kerja so I see this 3 months of unemployment as a call for a break.  I take the bright side of this dump situation. It's okay to be at the bottom of the wheel sometimes so we knew that the "wheel" people talk about does exist and works every second. Well, guess It's time for me to climb again and this time, reach the higher peak. Everything is possible. Even the impossible word says I'M POSSIBLE.

Foot note : Rasa nak update semua tutorial Adobe Photoshop. Mungkin ada yang memerlukan.

Friday, June 10, 2016

New Chapter


Salam Ramadhan to all. I just took a quite huge decision and I think, I'm not going to regret it. I'm done crying day and night doing what I just hate to do. So, I stop. Like in the middle of highway of not-sure-what-I-am-doing, I stop at the emergency lane; (which is forbidden) but it's called "Emergency Lane" for a reason. 

You know when you're lost in a journey with no navigation, no signboard, nobody inside the car except your damned-self, what you can do is stop or just keep driving. I keep driving. Drive towards.. whenever the road took me. Sometimes I saw signs telling me to go here and there, even U-turn sign once or twice but I missed it everytime because I continuously convince my heart and soul that this is the road that I should take to please everyone.

Thus, I force myself to JUST STAY DRIVING. So yeah I'm heading insignificant destination until I realize this is not the road that will takes me to the life I long for. Other people might be happy to see the surface of my current life, but not me.

From there, I'm no longer focus on my driving but searching for signs instead. Signs to turn back! Because I know, if I keep driving, I'll just wasting my time, money, resources, hope, motivation and most importantly, my life.

It's okay if it will cost me some extra tolls and gas to U-turn and slide into another highway and again, I have to pay another tolls like damn is this Selangor? But you know, I think when you have this one instinct that your life would merge happier than before, these extra cost would just worth it big time.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Full of Surprise


It's been a while. It's too blehh to say that I were & am too busy with life. Nobody is too busy. It's a matter of priority, that's what I understood about "busy".  So in this case, I would rather say, I lost my interest in writing; perfect reason of why this blog has gone idle. I faced a lot of surprises. Adulthood sure is not easy.

Especially when the mistakes are strictly prohibited.
Bad decisions are bad. 
Direction of your life has been totally prepared.
You're questioning the meaning of your existence.
You're wondering if you're taking the right path.
Your age gives you the license to decide; but when you sit back and think , is it really?
Ups and down, ups and down everywhere.
Somebody tries to overwrite your definition of happy; and the worst part is, you allowed it to happen.

I used to be so happy with everything that I have. I were a kid. A hyper kid that cannot wait to explore the world. To learn. To smile. To LIVE. Nothing could demotivates me. Everything is the booster. But now, I wish motivation could be easily purchased from Instashop.

I try my best to convince myself that I have a happy life. That I am happy with what am I doing. It's a battle that I got to confront each day. Running from it won't settle my bills anyway.

Well, this is just a phase. The beginning has always been the toughest and yup, quite menggelupur I must say. To work. To study. Getting Married. Some people

Study -> Work -> Get Married; while some
Work -> Study -> Get Married; not to mention
Get Married -> Study -> Work; or
Study -> Get Married -> Work; nevertheless
Work -> Get Married -> Study

People live in different ways, destined with different stories and tied with different problems. Rezeki & jodoh come to the right people on the right time. Stop arguing about the right chronology whatsoever because there is NO right chronology, you people. We are having what is served with us want it or not. You can plan what to have but in the end, you will deserve what you deserve.

The unnecessary stress over "you should be this, you should have done that" really doesn't help.

*Let my grammar go wild. They need a break too.

Life : Married? Checked!

Assalamualaikum By the time I'm writing this, cukup 3 bulan seorang Shasha Yatim sah jadi isteri Mohd Ikram Zaidi yang aku jump...