Friday, June 10, 2016

New Chapter


Salam Ramadhan to all. I just took a quite huge decision and I think, I'm not going to regret it. I'm done crying day and night doing what I just hate to do. So, I stop. Like in the middle of highway of not-sure-what-I-am-doing, I stop at the emergency lane; (which is forbidden) but it's called "Emergency Lane" for a reason. 

You know when you're lost in a journey with no navigation, no signboard, nobody inside the car except your damned-self, what you can do is stop or just keep driving. I keep driving. Drive towards.. whenever the road took me. Sometimes I saw signs telling me to go here and there, even U-turn sign once or twice but I missed it everytime because I continuously convince my heart and soul that this is the road that I should take to please everyone.

Thus, I force myself to JUST STAY DRIVING. So yeah I'm heading insignificant destination until I realize this is not the road that will takes me to the life I long for. Other people might be happy to see the surface of my current life, but not me.

From there, I'm no longer focus on my driving but searching for signs instead. Signs to turn back! Because I know, if I keep driving, I'll just wasting my time, money, resources, hope, motivation and most importantly, my life.

It's okay if it will cost me some extra tolls and gas to U-turn and slide into another highway and again, I have to pay another tolls like damn is this Selangor? But you know, I think when you have this one instinct that your life would merge happier than before, these extra cost would just worth it big time.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

Full of Surprise


It's been a while. It's too blehh to say that I were & am too busy with life. Nobody is too busy. It's a matter of priority, that's what I understood about "busy".  So in this case, I would rather say, I lost my interest in writing; perfect reason of why this blog has gone idle. I faced a lot of surprises. Adulthood sure is not easy.

Especially when the mistakes are strictly prohibited.
Bad decisions are bad. 
Direction of your life has been totally prepared.
You're questioning the meaning of your existence.
You're wondering if you're taking the right path.
Your age gives you the license to decide; but when you sit back and think , is it really?
Ups and down, ups and down everywhere.
Somebody tries to overwrite your definition of happy; and the worst part is, you allowed it to happen.

I used to be so happy with everything that I have. I were a kid. A hyper kid that cannot wait to explore the world. To learn. To smile. To LIVE. Nothing could demotivates me. Everything is the booster. But now, I wish motivation could be easily purchased from Instashop.

I try my best to convince myself that I have a happy life. That I am happy with what am I doing. It's a battle that I got to confront each day. Running from it won't settle my bills anyway.

Well, this is just a phase. The beginning has always been the toughest and yup, quite menggelupur I must say. To work. To study. Getting Married. Some people

Study -> Work -> Get Married; while some
Work -> Study -> Get Married; not to mention
Get Married -> Study -> Work; or
Study -> Get Married -> Work; nevertheless
Work -> Get Married -> Study

People live in different ways, destined with different stories and tied with different problems. Rezeki & jodoh come to the right people on the right time. Stop arguing about the right chronology whatsoever because there is NO right chronology, you people. We are having what is served with us want it or not. You can plan what to have but in the end, you will deserve what you deserve.

The unnecessary stress over "you should be this, you should have done that" really doesn't help.

*Let my grammar go wild. They need a break too.

Life : Married? Checked!

Assalamualaikum By the time I'm writing this, cukup 3 bulan seorang Shasha Yatim sah jadi isteri Mohd Ikram Zaidi yang aku jump...